Not so much rules per se, as tips on how to increase your response rate and score more when dating on the Internet.

1. Thou shalt make a move. Women who post personals are NOT looking for Internet pen pals, they are looking to get personal. If things are going well after three email exchanges, it's time for you to ask her out.

2. Respect her rules. If a woman specifies that she's looking for a guy who is 'tall, dark and handsome' you better not be Michael Jackson. Hitting on a girl when you don't fit her profile means you're not only an imperfect prospect, but a guy that doesn't listen (a major no-no). Don't waste your time reaching for forbidden fruit.

3. Say something damnit. Replying to a post or personal ad with, 'What up bonita mami?' is mildly amusing, but a very bad move. Most people go to the Internet because they are tired of the bullshit of the bar scene. Dumbass one-liners are a primo bar scene tactic. If you want to get somewhere with a girl, initiate a conversation - that means a three to five line minimum.

4. Ask nicely and ye shall receive. You want to see her picture? You want to know more about her? Ask nicely. Guys that demand information don't get responses from me. Save the demands for the bedroom.

5. Thou must give a name. If you are afraid or shy and want to use an alias email address (e.g. bigBallsMan@aol.com) to make first contact with a woman, that's fine. BUT, you must sign the email with your real first name. It's called personals stupid. Just because it's on the Internet doesn't mean you can hide behind your computer forever.