September 2, 2006

First, Do No Wrong

Guys, there's something that you need to understand about women. The most important thing in fact. It will save your ass in many situations. Women talk a lot. And I'm not talking about the persistent yapping about shopping and girly gossip that annoys you to no end. I'm talking about women talking about you. Women talk in gruesome, hellish, hateful detail about the guys that have wronged them. At all times, in full detail and sometimes to complete strangers.

For example: You walk into a party of a friend of a friend. Across the room stands the woman you 'wronged.' She spots you quickly and nudges her long-legged friend Meghan, telling her exactly what she thinks of you. Meghan laughs and tells the story to her busty, blonde cousin Cindy and the girl who lives next door, Monica.

Within the hour you have boiled down your prospective hot-chick pot to a paltry 20%. Trust me, you don't want to play our numbers. So, before you stand up a girl for a date, promise you'll call and don't, or just generally act like a jerk, just remember what you're giving up. . . Meghan, Cindy and Monica.


Posted by ScoreHer at September 2, 2006 12:14 PM
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Comments

That is so true. I go to a women's college. In second year, I fell for a guy from another college in the same town (who was Chairman of a student political organisation when I was Vice-Chairman). I tried to tell him how I felt, but lost my nerve and had a fit. Needless to say, he wasn't interested. At the time, he did nothing. Then came the ceremonial end-of-term dinner for the changeover of officers in the organisation. In order to keep me away from him (which carries the insulting and untrue assumption that I wouldn't know how to behave at a black tie dinner), he denied me the place of honour due to my rank and sat me next to an annoying old codger that we tolerated only because he donated to the organisation (we later got so annoyed with the old codger leering at people we wanted to recruit that we decided we could do without his money). Needless to say, I needed a shoulder to cry on, and word spread. Now there's a whole college full of women who will never have anything to do with the offending Chairman.

Posted by: Beth at September 25, 2005 1:29 PM

This should be linked to the entry about how women love assholes. I'd say that for every girl that was turned off there were two whose curiosity was whet.

Posted by: anon at September 27, 2005 1:17 PM

No, he had a year left before he graduated and didn't score once.

Posted by: Beth at January 27, 2006 2:59 PM