December 26, 2006

'Tis the Season to Get Laid

The Holidays are fast approaching. Do you know who your New Year's kiss will be? Or, your Christmas lay? While it's very tempting to give up the hunt for love at this time of year, the wise men would agree that the holiday season is a prime time to score her. In fact, a very unscientific study says that women are a whopping 62% more interested in hooking up during the holiday season. Maybe it's something in the eggnog, maybe we find the Santa suit arousing (yup) or maybe it's just the thought of the dreaded Valentine's Day right around the corner. Whatever the cause, women are aching for a warm body in their bed.

Here are a few ideas on how to take advantage of the holiday season to score her:

* The big ball on New Years is your friend. Mistletoe a hangin' is your friend. These totally useless holiday symbols were planted by your forefathers with the intention of getting you some action. They would roll over in their graves if they knew how rarely their progeny took advantage of these moments. I'm assuming you know the mistletoe drill, but here's how you position yourself for New Years: Flirt with the girl during the night of New Year's Eve. Buy her a drink. Strategically plant yourself next to her 20 minutes before the ball drops and engross her in conversation. A few minutes before, make sure she has a glass of champagne, get up close and maybe put your hand on her back (so she can't run away so easy). When the ball drops, look at her, say 'happy new years', go in for the kiss, and hope you don't get smacked.

* It's cold. Women get cold. Warm her up. Suggest a mug of hot chocolate. Suggest cozying up by the fireplace with a glass of wine. Lend her your coat. Buy her a scarf. Put your arm around her. There are a million opportunities here to get up close and personal under the guise of chilly weather.

* Food. You know the expression, 'the way to a man's heart is through his stomach. ' Well, the same is true for women at this time of year. You see, with all the holiday food, dreary weather and baggy clothes, women get sloppy and stop working out as much. The extra chunk makes their self-esteem plummet, leaving the door wide open for you to ride in on your chariot and save the day by declaring her the hottest thing since Teri Hatcher's heyday. She'll appreciate the vote of confidence. Really appreciate it. Really.

* Volunteer. It's the giving season, and even if you don't have one generous bone in your body, most women do. Women are overwhelmingly more likely to volunteer at a food pantry or toy drive this time of year. You ever wonder where all the women are? Volunteer and you'll not only have access to your choice of chick, but you'll be able to apply the good-hearted-guy charm. Think of the possibilities. After playing Santa for the kids at a children's hospital, you can ask her if she's been naught or nice this year. After working a shift at the homeless shelter, you can ask her if she wants to take a nice hot shower together to clean off the whino slobber. Oh, and then there's that warm fuzzy feeling that comes from helping another human being. It's an aphrodisiac for some (e.g. me).

‘Tis the season to get laid. . .fa la la la la, la la la laid!


Posted by ScoreHer at December 26, 2006 11:12 PM
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Comments

Yes, I love it when a guy takes advantage of the season, atmosphere, and my compassion just so he can get some action. It makes me feel truly valued.

Here's an idea - write an article on how a guy can get a girl WITHOUT having to manipulate her...and perhaps one that doesn't make women sound like desperate, ubercompassionate idiots that have NO CLUE when you're trying to pull the "nice guy" thing just to get yourself off. If you're that desparate, go on the internet and cozy up to Palmela, instead of hurting some girl.

Posted by: Mel at December 12, 2005 7:16 PM

While I see your point Mel, in my experience especially in Bars and such, if you dont come off as hitting on them pretty hard women just blow you away. It seems in the effort to get a first date you hve to be agressive and play anything up. I dont know to many girls that go for the quite guy who doesnt go out of his way to get noticed. One your out you can be nice actually talk, but when your out trying to meet people you dont have more than a few lines to get them to even talk to you, and little more than a drink or dance to get their number. It is hard to talk at bars, parties, and many other places singles meet.

So Mel if you want the nice guy and a real discussion where do you suggest young single guys like myself meet women like you? It can't be at work because I am in a male dominated industry.

Also, it does seem that even the smart and independant women I know, they like to play games a bit, they aren't intrested in the easy guy they could get whenever they wanted... They only go for what they can't have, or think they can have. So if you dislike this advice please offer guys like me some alternative advice of your own. I am never intending to hurt women, but I am trying to become more than their shoulder to cry on, which seems to be my primary position.

Posted by: todd at December 13, 2005 6:50 PM

The advice here seems common sense and just plain, dang right. It's better to combine meeting ladies with an activity you like than to just hit a club. You'll meet more people with shared interests that way. Volunteering isn't strictly for selfless reasons anyway and seeking quality people takes a lot of time.

Mel, are you complaining about the attitude that you should meet people you'd like to lay or about "games?" Women are the masters of games.

Posted by: Colin at December 15, 2005 11:25 AM